To Freshman Year Me.

Hey man. You made it through high school. 

You're probably wondering what's going to happen to you in the next few months of college. I promise you that you'll break out of your shell, for one. You'll find your niche. And yet, you'll have that signature energy that everyone at high school knew you for.  Nobody from high school, save for maybe one will hit you up at all after graduation, and that's alright. You'll start to meet your life friends soon. And girls? Pfft don't worry about that. You got better things to waste your time on. And Cook? It's honestly not as bad as people say it is. Sure you may be living in the ONE dorm that doesn't have AC on the campus, but that's ok. It's lit, I promise you. You'll miss it every semester after you leave.

Expos ain't that hard. You may not do so hot in Calculus or in Chemistry, but that's alright. Not everyone gets a 4.0 their first semester. That transition is a rough one, but I promise you'll graduate if you study more than you play basketball at the gym (you don't even touch a basketball senior year kid!).  Computer Science? Not exactly for you. You'll switch to something better suited for you, and you'll find your passion again. You'll find multiple passions. I won't say yet, but look at your camera and use it more. You'll thank me later.

You'll find your identity, kid. I promise you. You worry about that, but people will and do love you.  Don't forget about your parents either! They're your best support. You'll find your way. Just keep doing you, keep being the great kid you are. You'll reach the stars soon. But for now? Take your time. Don't tackle everything at once, though I know you will anyway. Take care.

-Jerm

P.S. 100 somerset is not a party spot, it's Barnes and Noble, don't believe that upperclassman!!!

P.S.S. You don't need to actually pull the stop requested sign bruh! 

P.S.S.S. I promise you you don't wanna breakdance on a frat party basement floor. I don't care how many people ask you to do it.

2013 me! 

Finem.

And so, here I am.

As I sit in my on-campus apartment for one last night before completely moving out and getting ready for my commencement, a lot of thoughts have flooded me. These four years really flew by. Not much could have prepped me for the tumultuous ride that college had given me. I don't think I've really documented or tl;dr'd my time here at Rutgers. But here I go:

The story of my college career started, in a way, during the whole application process. I had thought for a while that I was going to major in Piano Performance and Composition, so I had applied to a few music schools and live out my dream of being a musician for the rest of my life. And then in March, slowly, but surely, each school got back to me. Every single one of them had rejected me from music school. For the longest time, I was heartbroken. I had to abandon, temporarily, my dream of being the grand concert-hall pianist that I had always wanted to be. And then, there was no chance of that.

However, I at least had gotten accepted to each school, so I settled on Rutgers University. The vastness of the school had excited me. There seemed to be so much opportunity, and I couldn't help but get myself drawn to this open world. And so, it began. 

Orientation was one heck of an experience. Although I couldn't tell you word for word what I had experienced, there was one thing that I will touch upon that we'll come back to later: at the end of the session, one of my two Orientation Leaders had slipped notes to every one of their students. Hers had a simple request for me: "By the end of college, you better have tried music again."

I could go into detail with how each year had gone for me. But I won't, because too much had happened within each year. I tried, and I just couldn't do it. The tears would have definitely flown hard from there. I got two degrees, in ITI and Music, I got a wonderful girlfriend, a great network and support system, and I couldn't be happier with how my life went. I found my identity. And I think that is the most important thing for someone to do in college. Because without that spurring you on, where would you be but a lost image in a crowd of the same image?

This is my sappy graduation post. There's thank yous in order. If I don't mention you, it's not because I forgot (or maybe it is). It's because there's too many of you to thank. Here's a few of the big groups that come to mind that I definitely need to thank:

Nicholas Hall. Without the rowdy three-floor, six-wing family that was Nicholas, I don't think I would've made the connections I did today. It's important to know that we all hated the idea of living on the "farm campus". But without that home-like campus, I never would've survived freshman year. I never would've met a good amount of my friends here. Shoutout to RHA/CDRC as well for believing in someone like me to lead. Shoutout to the 2nd floor C-Wing that helped me create such unforgettable memories. 

Mason Gross School of the Arts. Gee. Thanks for rejecting me and breaking my heart before college even started. But thank you for opening your doors to me as a BA, for giving me the chance to somewhat live my dream as a musician. I can't just put down the dream I had and that my parents had for me when I was little. You ain't gettin rid of me that easily. Thank you for helping me meet one of my best friends I'll have in life, a pianist that only gets better and better by the day. 

Rutgers University Choir. Thank you for giving me a place to forget the world on Mondays and Wednesdays, and for helping me find confidence in myself as a singer. Shoutout to the EBoard for transforming this choir completely from when I first saw it. The sky's truly the limit for y'all. 

The Hooligans. I definitely don't shoot enough with you guys anymore, but I can definitely say that without y'all, me growing as an artist would have seen a different path altogether. I'm forever indebted to all of you for believing in me. 

My RAPS fam. Juno, Bonnie, Sorina, Sean. I know that only 1/4 of you is REALLY involved with RAPS, but it's really nice to know that you guys are my little bros and sisters that I never had. The constant support from you all is indebted. I love you all. I can't say enough about each of you, or else this essay would be even longer than it'd need to be. 

Ghost Gang. Kenny, Anthony, Jungwoo, Brady. You four are the best. We may not be the best crew, but I can definitely say that the fondest of memories at college are with all of us in the same room. I wouldn't be where I am as a dancer and a person without you all. Here's to many more years growing together. And while I'm at it, shoutout to RU Breaks for taking me in and helping me grow as an artist and as a person, and for helping introduce me to so many amazing people from all over, whether it being the talent along the way, or even a girlfriend I thought I'd never have in my life. 

SafeHalo. It's really a damn shame that I only met you all my last year in college. Yet, you all have undoubtedly become the best people that I've ever met at Rutgers. I want to especially thank Dan and Jamie, time and time again, for believing in the person that I am. No matter what happens in the future, I know that the future is forever bright for you all. 

Mom and Dad. You guys pushed me and believed in me. Never did you lose hope for me, and I'm so incredibly lucky to have you there by my side at all times. You've seen my darkest hours, and cheered with me and my highest points. I really would not be here without your unwavering love. 

And at last, we're here. By the time this has posted, my graduation ceremony will have ended. You've believed in me these last few years, and now, I got a terrifying world ahead. I have no idea what's going to happen yet. But I know that whatever life throws at me, I have people at my side that will help me along the way. For everyone at Rutgers that I met these past four years, thank you for being in my life. There's way too many of you to thank, and I truly love you all. Each of you have made an imprint on my life somehow. And in doing so, I hope that my imprint was made on your life and at this school. But don't ever think of this as a goodbye. I'll be around, I can definitely promise that. Alas, my time in academia has ended. And now, my new life is in bloom. 

4/52 - Havens and Halos.

So this is gonna be a double post this week, because I screwed up and forgot to post last week's blog. But here I am talking about something that I've held very dear to me: SafeHalo.

Last summer, I was scrolling around FB like any impatient college senior would during the summer, seeing what everyone's up to and if there was anything cool happening on campus in the near future. That's when I came across this post by a guy named Daniel Reji, who put out an application for people that would be potentially interested in being a part of a start-up that combats sexual assault on campus. I've always wanted to be a part of a cause like such, but I never knew the right places to go to or the most accessible resource for me to help out. Here it was, a cause that resonated with me and sounded like the best way to put an exclamation point on my college career. 

So here I am, typing away at an application that I would never think would get back to me; I've applied to a lot of stuff and got rejected for it, and I'm sadly kinda used to it by now. Then, a month later, I get a call from Dan and without hesitation, I became a part of SafeHalo. I definitely have not regretted the decision ever since; I've met probably the best people ever through this company and strengthened my beliefs and character through it all. It's definitely one of those things where you think "wow, where have you been all my life" to all 20+ people that you've met through a certain experience. 

Many of you must be wondering what SafeHalo is. And here it is: simply put, this is an on-demand, stigma-free, judgement-free buddy system. A student may want a walk from the library to his/her apartment, from the bars to a bus stop, etc. They text the given SafeHalo number, and within minutes, two students will be sent over to walk the person to wherever they need to be. The best part about it? Everything is as if you're just calling a couple of friends to walk home with you within minutes. There's nobody in uniform walking you. No judgement, no stigma, nothing. And that's what makes the whole SafeHalo experience so beautiful; we're your best friend when you need one the most. 

I've never been more proud to be part of an organization that's growing so fast and so wide. We have half a dozen schools at the moment in talks to have SafeHalo, we watched Emerson college just this past weekend have a beautiful launch, and in Fall 2017, we'll see Oregon launch their pilot program.  It's truly only up from here on out. I just wanna take the time to thank Dan and Jamie for accepting me with open arms into a great program. Can't wait to see where we go from here.

#ForEachOther


 

3/52 - Seeing Red.

*Before you continue onto this post, be aware that I talk about political content that you may or may not agree with. Proceed at your own discretion.*

It's a weird time to be where I am right now. 

Sometimes, silence is your best virtue, but demonstrating your vigilance for others is a must, especially in this seemingly hostile environment. It's hard to validate what has happened in the past few months. A lot of us have seen some of the greatest progress, and in a matter of the swearing of an oath, we watched all of that go away. A place where we all once thought was starting to become safe for us people of color and our fellow compatriots within the LGBTQ community, now becomes a place where we have to watch where we're walking and what we say/wear/do. I have hope that things won't go awry for us all, but not much of it. There's definitely one thing that I've said in November that we still must hold true to this day: We have a moral obligation to protect all minorities and their communities from the imminent discrimination that will be apparent in the months/years ahead. This wraps it up for the "political" paragraph that I will probably never have again on this website, but it's important that you, the reader, know where I stand on this specific issue. It's been bothering me that I've kept somewhat quiet on this issue for the sake of civility on my social channels, but I might as well say something now than never. 

So this week, I'm keeping this blog short of updates; I've started my first week of school, and I have never been more satisfied with the professors I have in each class. SafeHalo, the startup I'm so very proud to be a part of, launched for the Spring semester at Rutgers this week and I've never been so amazed and proud with the progress that we all have made. I will definitely talk more about SafeHalo in a future blog post, but let's just say that big things are on the way. I've started taking pictures again, and I definitely will have more updates to come in the future. 

For now, though, I wish you all well and I hope you have a wonderful week. And just know that no matter what, the light will shine through the darkness. 

-Jerm